Its surprising how feisty I can be at times. This time of year- end of the school year- is so crazy busy its amazing I'm still sane. Sports are ending, and there's award ceremonies and festivities, scouts and field trips, field day, and luncheons at the school. Oh, and did I mention I work, too? Lol. Its a never-ending to-do list running in my head: "don't forget the teacher's gifts... RSVP for the event next week... Middle kid needs white shirt and blue shorts for Monday... younger kid's sneakers need replacing... older kid needs to remember things for science project... don't forget the glue and magnets for her... the bathroom upstairs needs cleaning... make sure the kids have their dirty clothes in the hamper... pay the camp fees... did you send in the sunscreen forms?... check emails... etc. etc. etc.
So, naturally, I'm exhausted. It's like this all year, when you've got three kids involved in all kinds of things, and try to stay involved in the school, try to keep up on housework, keep up to date with everyone's schedules ALL THE TIME. However, end of year is exceptionally nutty.
So, last night, we get the kids to bed. It's late. I forgot to defrost the chicken, so hubby runs to the local diner and gets us a meal. Oh yeah, clean the fridge and make a meal menu is also on that list. The oldest doesn't like meat, the middle one only wants meat, and the younger one doesn't like anything at the moment, hubby likes his potatoes and pasta, and I'm trying to watch carbs.
I got this, right?
Sigh. Kids finally asleep. Dishes are running in the dishwasher (managed to eek in some parenting skills with the youngest as I showed him how to load it correctly). The dog's asleep. My house needs some more tidying, but the floor is swept, toys are away, and coats are hung up. That will do for now. Mama needs her feet up and a good book.
I start reading. I am really getting into the book now... its sexy and fun, and the male character keeps me wondering. The female character is confused and I want to have a cup of tea with her and tell her it will be ok.
Hubby sits next to me, cuddles up. He laughs at something on facebook, and shows me. I smile, humor him, but my mind is on sexy book and intense characters.
He shows me something else... he starts to talk to me... he shows me something he's purchasing (that I do need to give input on.) He starts to order... and I start to get back to the lives of these two interesting characters.
He's annoyed. He wants to talk to me, to spend time with me. All I want is to let my OWN life go at the moment. I've run around all day, with my constantly running mind, telling me what I need to do today, tomorrow, the weekend, before school ends, etc. I want to get engrossed in a book, and not worry about anyone else. Oh no, hubby wants to talk work. I love him and I need to support him. However, keeping up with ALL the names and abbreviations of his work.. oh, my brain can't take it. I start to get annoyed. I should be thankful my husband wants time with me. I start feeling myself becoming to unglue. He tells me he wants my attention and I spend too much time on my phone, too much time ignoring him when I should be listening.
Fine. I take my phone and throw it down the length of the couch, fold my legs up and look at him expectantly. The book can wait.... deep sigh. I was really enjoying that.
Oh, that was rude. He didn't like that. Another sigh.
We talk for a while, and its time for bed. I confess to him that I was speeding today. I tried to get so much done today, and I was running late. I stayed with the line of traffic- well, mostly. But the fact is I knew I was going a good 5-10 miles faster than is responsible. He tells me I need a good spanking for my attitude and my speeding. I'm annoyed, on verge of crying. It's been a long day, with expectations from everyone, being pulled in every direction possible. I don't feel like I need one. Honestly I just want a back rub, some cuddles, maybe some gentle love making, and sleep. He tells me 'you sure do need one... more than you think.'
Fine. I whip off my clothes, and sit next to him, naked, bared to him, but the only thing submissive about me at the moment is that I'm naked to him. I'm radiating frustration, annoyance, exhaustion. He will NOT spank me like that, until I can submit to him, and acknowledge the fact that I both deserve and need a good spanking. So, we talk. The damn starts to open, and I'm grateful he will listen before punishing me. He's right... I should not speed. I should have a sore bottom for the next day to remind me to be responsible on the road. He's right... I need to let go of these frustrations. I need to TALK to him and tell him what's on my mind. When he asks me to put my phone down, I shouldn't take it huffily and throw it. That was rude, and uncalled for.
He can sense I'm ready to submit, and puts me over his knee. He uses his hand- firm, stinging, willing me to submit. I do. Then he uses the solid wood paddle. He's enjoying this one lately, oy. It HURTS. I struggle with staying still, and start to cry. I never cry this early, if at all. However, the frustration starts to release... all the worry, all the chaos... it all starts to go away. I ask for a moment to gather myself so I may submit to the spanking and be respectful. I will myself to take the sting, and to let him do his job. I lay and take it... and the tears come. A good 20-30 swats or so, and he then goes to our single leather strap. Well worn, it does its job. He whips... I cry... and I can finally just LET GO. He tells me he can tell I don't need much tonight, and he thinks I've learned my lesson. Oh, thank goodness. Most of the time, I do need longer, harder. Tonight, though, the lesson has gotten through quickly, and I need HIM. He can sense that, and we cuddle, and make love. We reconnect. I look into his eyes- full of love, admiration. I ask him to look at me while he let's go.. and it's beautiful. I see all of HIS frustrations, all of his worries, disappear. I feel myself relax, and when we finish a beautiful, rather intense love making session, we are spent. We are tired, calm, one again with eachother.
He thanks me for renewing our commitment to eachother. I thank him for spanking me, and making me feel loved and safe.
Feisty Mary is gone, replaced by submissive Mary. Annoyed Jackson is gone, replaced by happy, calm Jackson.
Then, sleep comes. Blissful, peaceful, soul-healing sleep, as we lay in eachother's arms.
We've got this.
So, naturally, I'm exhausted. It's like this all year, when you've got three kids involved in all kinds of things, and try to stay involved in the school, try to keep up on housework, keep up to date with everyone's schedules ALL THE TIME. However, end of year is exceptionally nutty.
So, last night, we get the kids to bed. It's late. I forgot to defrost the chicken, so hubby runs to the local diner and gets us a meal. Oh yeah, clean the fridge and make a meal menu is also on that list. The oldest doesn't like meat, the middle one only wants meat, and the younger one doesn't like anything at the moment, hubby likes his potatoes and pasta, and I'm trying to watch carbs.
I got this, right?
Sigh. Kids finally asleep. Dishes are running in the dishwasher (managed to eek in some parenting skills with the youngest as I showed him how to load it correctly). The dog's asleep. My house needs some more tidying, but the floor is swept, toys are away, and coats are hung up. That will do for now. Mama needs her feet up and a good book.
I start reading. I am really getting into the book now... its sexy and fun, and the male character keeps me wondering. The female character is confused and I want to have a cup of tea with her and tell her it will be ok.
Hubby sits next to me, cuddles up. He laughs at something on facebook, and shows me. I smile, humor him, but my mind is on sexy book and intense characters.
He shows me something else... he starts to talk to me... he shows me something he's purchasing (that I do need to give input on.) He starts to order... and I start to get back to the lives of these two interesting characters.
He's annoyed. He wants to talk to me, to spend time with me. All I want is to let my OWN life go at the moment. I've run around all day, with my constantly running mind, telling me what I need to do today, tomorrow, the weekend, before school ends, etc. I want to get engrossed in a book, and not worry about anyone else. Oh no, hubby wants to talk work. I love him and I need to support him. However, keeping up with ALL the names and abbreviations of his work.. oh, my brain can't take it. I start to get annoyed. I should be thankful my husband wants time with me. I start feeling myself becoming to unglue. He tells me he wants my attention and I spend too much time on my phone, too much time ignoring him when I should be listening.
Fine. I take my phone and throw it down the length of the couch, fold my legs up and look at him expectantly. The book can wait.... deep sigh. I was really enjoying that.
Oh, that was rude. He didn't like that. Another sigh.
We talk for a while, and its time for bed. I confess to him that I was speeding today. I tried to get so much done today, and I was running late. I stayed with the line of traffic- well, mostly. But the fact is I knew I was going a good 5-10 miles faster than is responsible. He tells me I need a good spanking for my attitude and my speeding. I'm annoyed, on verge of crying. It's been a long day, with expectations from everyone, being pulled in every direction possible. I don't feel like I need one. Honestly I just want a back rub, some cuddles, maybe some gentle love making, and sleep. He tells me 'you sure do need one... more than you think.'
Fine. I whip off my clothes, and sit next to him, naked, bared to him, but the only thing submissive about me at the moment is that I'm naked to him. I'm radiating frustration, annoyance, exhaustion. He will NOT spank me like that, until I can submit to him, and acknowledge the fact that I both deserve and need a good spanking. So, we talk. The damn starts to open, and I'm grateful he will listen before punishing me. He's right... I should not speed. I should have a sore bottom for the next day to remind me to be responsible on the road. He's right... I need to let go of these frustrations. I need to TALK to him and tell him what's on my mind. When he asks me to put my phone down, I shouldn't take it huffily and throw it. That was rude, and uncalled for.
He can sense I'm ready to submit, and puts me over his knee. He uses his hand- firm, stinging, willing me to submit. I do. Then he uses the solid wood paddle. He's enjoying this one lately, oy. It HURTS. I struggle with staying still, and start to cry. I never cry this early, if at all. However, the frustration starts to release... all the worry, all the chaos... it all starts to go away. I ask for a moment to gather myself so I may submit to the spanking and be respectful. I will myself to take the sting, and to let him do his job. I lay and take it... and the tears come. A good 20-30 swats or so, and he then goes to our single leather strap. Well worn, it does its job. He whips... I cry... and I can finally just LET GO. He tells me he can tell I don't need much tonight, and he thinks I've learned my lesson. Oh, thank goodness. Most of the time, I do need longer, harder. Tonight, though, the lesson has gotten through quickly, and I need HIM. He can sense that, and we cuddle, and make love. We reconnect. I look into his eyes- full of love, admiration. I ask him to look at me while he let's go.. and it's beautiful. I see all of HIS frustrations, all of his worries, disappear. I feel myself relax, and when we finish a beautiful, rather intense love making session, we are spent. We are tired, calm, one again with eachother.
He thanks me for renewing our commitment to eachother. I thank him for spanking me, and making me feel loved and safe.
Feisty Mary is gone, replaced by submissive Mary. Annoyed Jackson is gone, replaced by happy, calm Jackson.
Then, sleep comes. Blissful, peaceful, soul-healing sleep, as we lay in eachother's arms.
We've got this.
No comments:
Post a Comment